And don’t kill any mosquitoes in the Pleistocene era,” Sam said, cryptically. “Oh yeah, isn’t that CONVENIENT,” Flint Paper said, sarcastic. “We arrived from the past in a time machine, but we parked it in the basement because it blocks the door if we get it here.” “We didn’t drive,” Sam said, sort of dizzy. But unless you drove here with your eyes closed, I’d think you would have NOTICED.” “Well, Sammy, I know you guys like to live dangerously. Sam exhaled a whistle of dismay and admiration. He joined Max at the window and looked at the ruins. “He destroyed the city, AGAIN?” Sam asked. Then he got his gun hidden again and shrugged. Not planning on running into those guys.” Sam adjusted his tie, something he always did when he Max just looked at his oldest, best friend. “Simple as a pie full of bullets, big guy.” I’ll stick to the shooting.” Max got out his gun and checked it I am pretty sure if we had died, they would have as “I don’t know what they expected us to do. Do you think they’ll still be angry at us?” Max didn’t “And not too close, just in case they didn’t die. Not too much, because if we don’t pay the lease they will kick us The only way to find out would be to get back a little ahead of the date Sam’s hand went automatically to the brim of the hat he didn’t have. You have to admit it, it’s an awesome theory.” “I have told you to stay away from Star Trek, Max.” “But what if we couldn’t? What if that was some sort of… weird universe law, trying to fix the fact “Oh, I think we’d be more clever than that.” “Oh, oh! Maybe they ASPLODED when the alien ship did?” Max seemed excited. You know what? We didn’t get any of that ‘time stream altered, jackass’ thing.” In thisįuture, we’re probably dead, as that was the only way they could have dragged us out.” In one future, we were in our office until we got old and died. “I don’t understand it,” Max looked around and kicked some weird rubbish he found. “It’s just for show, you know,” Max said. “I’ll make you pay for this,” Sam said, and he carefully put the drooled on, sticky hat. He flattened it a bit and returned it to Sam with a sheepish look on his I will be buying the tightest hat I can as soon as possible.” They went back to the time where Superball was Sam, annoyed, pushed Max into the elevator. “I think we have to be in the past for that to work,” Max said. “I will be buying the tightest hat I can as soon as possible,” Sam said, out loud. “We could be living elsewhere,” Max suggested. “Look at this wonderful future,” Sam said, sarcastic. Sam liked his hats,īut he’d gladly trade them for a future where he would be able to remember to put some pants The future and found his Futuristic self sharp and aware, he WOULD have to. He had a good idea that if Max’s idea worked, if they went to “Gimme that stupid piece of crap,” Max raged suddenly. “Except we have a –TADAAAA- Time Machine!” Max made a theatrical jazz hands gesture. Seemed like a too close space when Max was angry. If Sam’s presence was overwhelming in an elevator, the whole world “Well, I HATED seeing you like that, Sam! Maybe I’m trying to prevent it instead of simplyĪccepting it! Maybe I can NOT accept it that easily, ever thought of that?!!” Now I’ll be constantly thinking about it. “Don’t say ‘dementia’,” Sam said, feeling his mouth grow dry. It entirely possibly your early-onset dementia was caused by your hat being too tight?” “I know you asked Futuristic Me about it and that handsome devil didn’t give an answer, but… isn’t EVERYTIME he said that, he’d lose sleep for months. “This is giving me a huge headache.” Sam massaged his temples. “No, because then past us will be hunting us?” “Let’s go forward a little and just kill them.” “Eating our food… punching our punks…answering our phones…” Future jerks are there, solving our cases…” We can’t go back to our own time, either. “We’d probably die without our toxic fumes atmosphere, too.” But… no, I don’t want to leave New York.” “Your presence is never as overwhelming as when we’re stuck in an elevator together, Sam.” “We will NEVER move to Washington, and you’ll stay away from the White House, you hear me?” “That something might as well be our other selves, Max.” “And you don’t want to live in the past because you fear something we do will erase us from “No, that’s not… let’s just not talk about that, ever.” You don’t want to live in that horribly depressing future, having to take care of your own “Well, it’s just that we’re out of options, “Don’t say ‘quantum’,” Max said, not entirely humorless. It’s just that I want to keep my quantum integrity intact, thank you very “I am not sure that’s a good idea,” Sam shrugged.
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